Which came first?

I've come to a conclusion about this quote:
      "Which came first: the music or the misery?"
It had to be the misery that came first because something must have inspired the music. And if it wasn't the music that came from the misery, certainly it was the lyrics. The lyrics spark the music into action anyway. The story being told is just setting the scene. The music really pains the picture though. So,
     "Which came first: the music or the misery?"
I guess it's really all up to perspectives now.

mb

GET ME OUT

I am someone who is more often then not, more talk and less game. I always talk about how I'd love to ditch school one day, which is true, I just don't think I'd ever actually do it. I've always wanted to ditch one day of school just to have some fun at least once during my high school career. Maybe head out to the city just to wander with someone and find cool places to go. See something I haven't seen before, or go somewhere I don't normally get to go. Of course, I could never do this for real, but I would like to spend a day or weekend in the city. To be honest, I have no idea where I'd even go in the city. I'd love to be able to end the day with something awesome though. I've been many places in the city, but I've never had a chance to really see the city. I guess it's more like I've been through many places in the city. Maybe I'll bring a camera and take some good shots of the skyscrapers. At this point, I just need to be anywhere but here. Because here is a place full of everything I've been living through my entire life and repeatedly experiencing in ALL of my free time. I just need to get OUT.

mb

What? No BLog today?

I just figured that since i posted two yesterday, i'd take it easy for today. sorry, but that's all i've got to say right now.

Upcoming topic: ditching school?

mb

Love

Love is the act of putting all of your effort into that one special person because there's nothing else you'd rather do. It's being able to say: "I love you," and knowing you'll hear it back instantaneously from the person without a second thought. It's everything you've always wanted, and everything you never knew you needed. But what people don't seem to realize is that it comes with imperfections and misplaced acceptance. It affects you in a way that even though it's happening to you, you cannot explain. But it's something so strong that there is no possible way to physically feel it anywhere except in your heart. Love is the only emotion that, when used in context, could mean so many things, but at the same time nothing at all.  There may never be someone exactly perfect for you, but there is someone just close enough that their imperfections don't matter. Love is the only thing that can overcome hate and surpass multiple problems, fights, and ill communication. But it's not just an emotion. Love by itself is so much more than just how you feel about someone. Love is everything you know about a person that makes you want to be with them all of the time. No matter what.

mb

One Banana, Two Bananas, Three Bananas, Four?

"If we never had to make choices, who would make them for us?"

I was taking time to think about this the other day. What if our decisions were made for us? Would we get to chose who makes our decisions? Or would that be pre-planned as well? I can't even begin to imagine a life without choices. It would not be a fun one, that's for sure. Part of living your life is making choices. Whether they be wrong or right, you still have to make them. And being wrong is okay. Obviously it' snot ideal, but it's an average situation to be in. Without wrong answers, there are no questions to ask. No one said two wrongs make a right, but someone decided that three lefts do. What if your two wrongs lead you to the right answer? Does that then mean that two wrongs can make a right? Or do you just get shut down without the chance to make it right? If the latter is the case, I don't want any part in that situation. Even though people don't usually get them, second chances happen. And without them, we would all be stuck back at square one.

mb

Inspiration

Everyone can be inspired in one way or another. Whether it be through the eyes of someone else, or their own. Inspiration occurs all the time. Many of us try to believe that what we do won't ever inspire anyone. Many of us are wrong. Without even the tiniest of ideas, there's no hope for humanity as we know it. People say things like I just can't do this that well or I can't write the way people like. First of all, there is no "CORRECT" way to write that attracts readers. And secondly, yes you can do it well you just have to put forth a little bit of effort. Even the best writers have writer's block. But once that inspiration strikes, there's no stopping it and undoubtedly, no turning back. Even if you're sitting on the toilet and inspiration strikes, it might very well be the greatest thing you've ever written. So don't sit back and wonder when you're going to have ideas. Go out and have fun and then once you're inspired, nothing else will matter.

mb

I Wanna Feel The Sunshine

I wanna miss you but I can't
Cuz I'd just hate myself
I wanna see you but I can't
Cuz then I'd hate you as well
I wanna find out all of the things in the world
That make you crazy
Just so you can see me

I wanna feel the sunshine
I wanna feel the strong, down pourin' rain
I wanna feel the west coast spring time
Runnin' through my veins

I can't convince you that
I'm the one you hate
I can't express just yet
All my feelings, I'm irate.
I wanna be your summer time sunshine
So I can be your (down) fall

I wanna feel the sunshine
Time and time again
I wanna feel the strong, down purin' rain
Just like the last time
I wanna feel the west coast springtime
Just like San D or LA
I want all of this for nothing
But none of it for more.

I wanna feel the sunshine.

mb

In This Case, The Safe Words Are Right and Wrong

It's been a long time since we've so much as spoken to each other.
It's been forever since we've had anything to say.
I've spent this time thinking about where we go from here,
And the only results I come up with are no where.
If I knew why I was so upset with you,
I'd probably have already told you.
You're childish actions were one thing,
You're irresponsibility another.
The list is becoming far less endless,
But it still goes on for miles and miles.
I know you know
You know I know
Therefore, we stay apart
And fight our battles for what's right in our hearts.
I miss having people to talk to.
I miss being able to sleep.
I miss wondering what you all are doing.
I miss wanting to speak.
I know now that what I did
Was worse than anything you could have hid
The cutting is done and over with
The thing we're all hoping for is just one wish
A wish to be wanted
A wish to be loved
A wish to feel something so we don't have to feel this pain at all
I wish I knew what I gave up then
Because I surely would have tried to save it now.

mb

Mixed Signals and Misplaced Lifestyles

One day you'll see all your faults
One day you'll find you've missed out
Missed out on being yourself
Instead of somebody else

This is how the rest of the world sees you

At least for me
People seem to find something worth seeing in me
For you
They find things they don't or didn't ever want to see

Just be yourself when you're around
I need my friends to hold on to

When the "audience" grows,
There's more people to "impress"
But what's really "impressive,"
Is the abilities you both have
The ones that seem to pull you through
No matter what happens to you

I'd say I'm sorry,
But I'm not.
I'd tell you stories,
I forgot.

If you got a little closer,
You'd find yourself again.
Solve your million-dollar question:

Who are you, and what have you done to your character?

mb

Just Breathe

I always have this unrelenting urge to write
Always have, and possibly always will
But that doesn't mean I always have words
I don't always have what I want to say in a way I want to say it
It's never just that easy

Just breathe
And maybe it will get easy

I have words
But I have no story
I have memories
But no recollection of them really
I have dreams
But no aspirations to follow

Just breathe
And maybe it will get easy

I used to believe in God
Until I realized I believed
Simply to please others
I wasn't believing
To benefit myself at all

Just breathe
And maybe it will get easy

When everything you are
Is lost,
Do you really know who you are?
Or have you forgot?

Breathing doesn't make it easy,
But it helps you crawl along your path.
Even if it isn't yet what you want to be,
You're still on that path to somewhere.

Just breathe
And the rest will come easier.

mb

"It's getting to hell and telling the devil: I can do this better." - Christopher Gutierrez

If you ever think you're going to do everything you've ever hoped for in life, you won't. I know it sounds pessimistic, but it's the honest to god truth. Lazy is our fall back. It's programed into our brains and unintentionally stored. It's wasted and abused and never ever forgotten. If you promise yourself that at some point in your life you will stop lying to yourself and own up to the fact that your life is just as messed up as everyone else tries to pretend theirs isn't, you'll turn out alright. You're never going to be what you wanted to be when you grow up, but it'll be as close as you can ever get to that because no one ever gets there. As sad as that sounds, potential isn't thrown out on silver platters, it's earned by working crappy 9-5 jobs or sweaty, nasty fast food work. Yes, final products are bought. That's just the part you don't ever hear. I like to think I can't ever be this way. Like I'll never be touched by something so horrible, but that's because I lie to myself every single day of my life. I look up to those who cannot let others get to them. They fight for their beliefs and stand up for their lives. They grow to levels that are far beyond what anyone thought they would do. There's nothing for them to stand up against because it's crazy to think that anything other than themselves is really all they need to survive. Their friends, however, look out for them like family because they don't choose their friends as often as their friends are chosen for them by accident. You run into people in the halls at school, at the mall any place as crazy as ever and they end up talking and finding similar interests. They are forever known as followers, but in reality, they are the leaders. And that's all that matters because without people to follow, what else are we going to do with our messed up lives?

mb

Unharmed Isn't the Right Word, But If the Shoe Fits...

Too many people are under the impression that they can skate through life "unharmed." Even if you never have a broken bone or a scraped knee, "unharmed" isn't the word you are looking for. What you are looking for isn't just a word; it's a phrase, an idealistic idea, an uncommon happening. This frequent, incorrectly looked at action is "playing it safe." "Playing it safe" is a way to go through life physically "unharmed," using the correct meaning of the statement of course. If you want to change your mind and say you "play it safe," cool. There's not much else I can do for your vocabulary after that. But no one goes through life "unharmed." Even if you've never been physically hurt, you have to tend to your own emotions just like everyone else does. You might not have any visible scars, but the previous feeling of a gash in your heart, it's healed and scarred over. It's your own personally reminder that yes, you can be broken no matter how tough your exterior may be. That feeling of hatred that reopens the wound will never be permanently gone, but it will hurt less each and every time the boiling blood reaches the surface. Because eventually, we all need to learn how to heal ourselves without leaning on others. For some people, that's a price. For others, it's a change of scenery. But for me, it's a complete and utter choice. Because all you really need, is something new and something great that takes you away from all that you hate and brings you towards all that you adore.

mb

I Think This One Speaks For Itself

Music - any sweet, pleasing, or harmonious sounds or sound. I don't believe something as personal as music should have one definition. It's different for everyone. My own personal definition is that music is what feelings sound like.
Music is something I've unofficially grown up with my entire life. I am a musician and have been since 5th grade. Although, I believe that if I wasn't a performer, I'd still have music in my soul. I cannot even imagine a day when I do not involve my life with music. Music isn't just a hobby to me; it's a pleasant afternoon on a sunny day with no care in the world but the metronome clicking in the background and melodies flowing from my fingertips. It's my own way of conveying my personality to others because I'm not much of a conversationalist. I find comfort in music the way people find comfort in sweatpants. (Which is also something I find comfort in :D). I play with all of my heart and I don't let anyone tell me otherwise about it. I love performing jazz and orchestral bass. Something that, from what I've seen of the music world, isn't very common. Over the summer I spent a week at NIU learning and perfecting jazz performance to the best of my ability. That week taught me more than just jazz performance, it taught me about friendships and feelings and what it takes out of you every single day to practice and perform for four hours a day.
Music is something that makes me feel infinite. It's something I do in my free time, yes. But it's also something I want to continue with for the rest of my life. No matter if it's performing, teacher, or just listening. I want it in the rest of my life no matter what it takes because it's something I love and it's something that I can't live without.

mb